Known

Known

Have you ever thought about what it means when the Bible says that every hair on our head is numbered?  Every hair has a distinct number.  Every hair on my head that I have now, every hair that I have lost in my 58 years on Earth, every new hair that I will grow between now and when I go Heavenside.  You too.  Everyone on Earth, in fact; everyone who has ever been, and who will ever be.  My brain resists even trying to think of a number.  Even though numbers are infinite, both positive and negative, so there will be an answer.  And God knows every one of them.

That takes being known to a whole new level.

I think that we like to be known, even need to be known.  Lonely is less about having no-one around you – that’s solitude.  It’s more about feeling on your own, unseen and unknown, even in the midst of the crowd.

There are different levels of being known, of course.  Sometimes we are very careful about what we show of ourselves.  And that’s perfectly okay.  On Facebook we tend to show our best moments and pictures.  At work we show what is most appropriate and best suited to our professions.  My blog is written with honesty but also care.  In a sharing circle, where we have found women we feel we can trust, we may show more.  I hope so.  But not everyone needs to know all there is to know about us.

God does.

And there is a place for inviting others to do so as well.  People who we have chosen carefully and who we know we can trust.  Friendships that have grown and deepened over time.  People who have seen us at our best and at our worst and who love us anyway.  People with whom w efeel safe to be vulnerable.  There aren’t often many of them, and I suspect rhe numbers have dropped for me as I have grown older.

How do we find these people?  Before we even reach the point of lowering our walls and allowing ourselves to be seen, taking the risk of reject?  How do we find our people?

I think that it is partly being brave and it’s partly being allowed in.  One is in my control and one isn’t.  I live in a very transient town in New Zealand, and I have had a number of close friends move away, including the two who walked the path of burn-out with me.  I know that I wasn’t pretty at that time, or easy to be with, and so losing them was a blow.  It has taken time to find new close friends, and it has needed both of the above.

So this blog Is for both those who are seeking to be known and for those who have no need to seek at this present time.  Being known needs both of you to play your part.  Both of us.

Let’s not downplay this.  It is hard to find yourself at the point of feeling lonely.  There’s an element of shame to it.  There has to be something wrong with me, doesn’t there?  It triggers all of those old fears of being rejected, being exposed, not being enough, getting things wrong.  This is why it is brave to put yourself out there, perhaps invite someone for coffee, perhaps initiate a conversation, perhaps plan an open shared lunch.  And this is why it’s important to let people in, give them a chance, accept an invitation from someone you don’t know that well, or perhaps invite them first.  It doesn’t mean you have to become best friends.  But who knows what might come?  I am glad to have the new friends in my life that I have.  I can’t imagine life without them.

For if every hair is numbered, we are significant, we are one of a kind, we are the only ones who can live out our designs.

Let’s not hide, let’s not be kept hidden.

We are worth being known.

We are worth bravely knocking at doors.

We are worth having those doors opened.